The weekend, work, weights, and a bum knee

This was memorial day weekend and it was a busy one. We had a lot to get done and the weekend seemed to fly by! It was a bit of a blur, but there was working and playing, so it ended up being productive and fun.

Because my husband did not have Monday off, we grilled yesterday afternoon/evening. What a feast it was!

He grilled a little salmon and some shrimp (to the left of the plate and some are hidden under onions there) but mostly it was zucchini and mushrooms. It was a great meal. I made some farmer's market broccoli to go with it too. It was tremendously filling and we had leftovers to eat again today!

Aside from that, the past few days have been a mixed bag. We did a little shopping and got some clothes to start the girls off for the summer. We also hit a birthday party for a good friend of my daughter's and the cake was too cute not to share!

It was complete with white chocolate wings and a fire breathing mouth (not really, but it looked like it). The kids loved it and it was delicious to boot!

I also did a lot of work related stuff. There was the usual Saturday grading and reading and answering emails. I just wrapped up a class and don't have another set starting for a week (online) but I also found out that I will be very busy over the next two weeks. I got an email asking about my interest in an accelerated class being taught to high-schoolers looking to do some dual credit. I responded, even though I wasn't sure what to expect, and to my surprise, I got the job!

I am excited at the prospect of unexpected money finding its way to us, since summers are always tight and we have a trip coming up in July, but I'm also a little worried about teaching kids so young! I am used to my adult students, so this will be a big change! I have taught 18yos in the past, but my usual student is well into his 20s with some having ten or twenty years on me. It is a mixed bag, but very different from these students who I will be getting who are as young as 14! That is big difference!

Like it or not, it will be intense and fast moving with four classes a day, back to back, starting at 8 in the morning. I do this for 2 weeks and then they are supposed to be ready to take the college placement exam required by the local junior college where I teach. I am hopeful that they do well! No pressure! I cannot imagine being 14 years old and trying to cram enough into my brain in that short of a period of time in order to pass a test. It has to be a lot to take in! I am excited about what it could do for me, however. This past semester was not the best one as far as student performance, so maybe these kids will end things off on a higher note before the summer kicks into gear. It would be great to leave having learned a lot and possibly even inspired! The good news is that unlike many part time instructors, I don't have full time employment, so if it all goes well, I could get this as a recurring gig. We shall see how it goes!

And one of the other fun things that happened this weekend was a trip to the farmer's market AND a trip to the gym. We haven't done BOTH those things (together) in a while and it was so nice to get to! Whenever my husband and I work out together, it is fun and productive. I am SO sore right now, because he challenges me on the weight training, which I have been slacking on. It was nice to get a little push in that direction. I asked him to help with that after Michelle suggested that I explore resistance training more. I have been meaning to, but for me, it is so much easier to NOT do that.

I wasn't sure why this was until I thought about it for a minute and realized: I hate resistance training ALONE. With the cardio, you are in a class or you are meant to be solitary, plugged into the TV or the music and in the zone. On the nautilus equipment you are NOT supposed to be fumbling around like I usually am --or worse--watching yourself with the free weights. I ALWAYS feel out of my element doing this part of a work out. Even when I had a personal trainer, and did more in that regard than I ever have before, it was not where I was most comfortable and was always like pulling teeth. Strangely, I enjoy the feeling of strength and power that it can give you, but the process is always somewhat of an obstacle for me!

This, like other challenges I have faced, will likely be something of the past in time. I remember a time when going to the gym was a colossal effort. Talking myself into not being embarrassed or feeling out of place too FOREVER. I would often never make it to the gym, coming up with every excuse in the book. NOW, I don't feel like I don't belong there. I may feel like I don't want to be there some days, but I don't feel "out of place" in the facility. I may not wonder to certain areas or into certain classes, for fear of that ugly feeling creeping over me again, but I at least can get into the building without the urge to high tail it out of there! :) That is progress, right? PLUS, I even ENJOY some work outs nowadays! That is the real measure that things are moving in the right direction.

In related news, today was day three on my new favorite machine at the gym, the AMT by Precor, and I dare say things are going well between us! Thursday was my first day on it, and I blogged about it. Then Friday, I returned with great excitement, to find that I *did* have to cut things short of my goal that day because my knee wasn't very happy toward the end of my work out. Saturday I decided against even saying "hello" and opted to warm up on an inclined treadmill before our strength training work out. And then came today, Monday, when I decided I wanted to visit with my new friend again. Things went well at first and we were having a blast there for a bit, when my knee made its opinion of recent events known right near the end of my 30 minute visit with AMT. I heard him loud and clear and bid AMT adieu. I got a great work out in, however, and am grateful for that. My guess is that between my hiatus and my previous work outs, my knee is just out of sorts.

It is only one knee, however, and I am treating him well in order to hopefully prevent the issues I have had in the past. As a matter of fact, Mr. Fussypants is being iced right now as I type this. :) If I treat him nice, I'm hopeful he will return the favor.

I cannot believe I am about to say this, but....

I had a GREAT workout today that I thoroughly enjoyed! I'm excited about it for a few reasons, but mostly because I am trying VERY hard to start a good, frequently occurring work out routine to kick start my dive into living a better life. If I want to make a go of it, I need to look more like an after picture and less like a before picture, don't you think? I'm in the process of lots of decisions and one of them has led me to the realization that I have to be more serious and dedicated to living the best life I can live. Being more active is one of the important steps in the process.

So back to the gym today: I saw a machine I'd spotted a few times but never hopped on to try. I thought it was a new elliptical and knew the other ones in that area had issues. The TVs weren't always working well or they wouldn't let you program them or whatever. When I climbed on this thing, however, I realized it was not what at all I thought it was.

I cannot tell you how happy I was to be wrong! This machine, called an Adaptive Motion Trainer (called AMT, made by Precor), was exactly the shot in the arm my work out needed. I have been dragging lately, and bored at the gym, but not wanting to start jogging again or doing Zumba because of the knee issues that have plagued me over the past year. I feel so awful when my knees aren't happy and it keeps me out of the gym for stretches. Once you get used to that, it is hard to get back into things. I'm NOW in the process of reintegrating work outs into my routine and this machine has me excited to get back there tomorrow!

During the past two weeks, I have done a few work outs from home, experimenting with other dance work outs (without jumping in them) and with yoga. I am finding that these two are making me quite sore, so something must be working (or broken?)! I was not able to do either for long stretches though, and haven't felt I'm getting the kind of cardio work out I should be getting for good weight loss. I have found that I enjoy yoga more than I expected, however, so I look forward to doing more of it (even though it makes me SOOOO sore)!

The AMT machine, however, is one stop shopping. You start with a stair climbing motion, less fluid than an elliptical, and move into a more fluid "stride" motion that works more muscles and moves a bit slower. You speed this up and are almost in a running motion, depending on how fast you go. The great thing about this, however, is that it feels VERY low impact. I felt better on this machine than I have felt on any elliptical. And because it is less rough on your body, you are able to go for longer periods of time. If I were actually running (or jogging) I couldn't have gone for 40 minutes. Because I was not stressing my knees, it was less taxing but not less strenuous. I was soaked when I got off of that machine and my heart rate was way up high during most of it.

This seems to be made for people, like me, who cannot enjoy the benefits of running and for those of us who may not have access to several machines. It seems to not be as limited as an elliptical or bike or treadmill can be. The AMT keeps you from getting bored because it has a variety of levels at which you can choose to work while on the machine. You can do more stair-climbing motions at various speeds, or longer lunging strides. You can mix it up or just "jog" at a set pace.

I happened to go there after the morning rush, and I am a bit worried about the next few days will bring. Since there are only a few of those machines, I am going to hope that I am lucky every time I go and get to hop right on one without waiting. I WILL be there tomorrow, for certain, to see how it feels the second time around and play with the settings a bit.

I'm very happy to announce that in the few hours since my workout, I have yet to start up with any knee pain. I hope that holds true until morning!

And to think: I had seriously considered wandering into Zumba today to see if I could tolerate the work out! Not that I don't LOVE Zumba, but I was *that* desperate for some zing in my routine! I was willing to chance the knee pain that would very likely have resulted from it. THANK GOODNESS I missed the class and decided to take a chance on something new. For some that is no big deal, but being a creature of habit, I rarely tend to venture out into uncharted territory.

Yeah for being brave! And DOUBLE yeah for having it pay off--in spades!

Yes! It *has* been almost a whole year!

Life has been interesting and strange and fast and wonderful. My girls are seven and three now and one is finishing first grade while the other will be starting a part time program in the fall. My girls are bigger and life is more complicated in some ways. It is mostly good, so I cannot complain.

I am still teaching and still married (yeah me!) but currently NOT shaking my rump at Zumba classes. I had issues off and on with my knees and kept taking breaks before I realized I should just do things that don't hurt me until I feel stronger and can dance WITHOUT pain. It has been a little sad, but I'm going to keep working on finding new ways to keep active and interested in movement.

Most recently, I have been exploring myself and my future and trying to figure out what is next for me. There can be no more children, so I know that in two years I'll have both girls in school full time. Until then, I can figure out what is next for me. Last summer I started to sew and learned that I love it. I will always sew and want to learn more and find time to make more dresses and tops for the girls and things for myself too. I'm excited about the summer for that reason because I will finally have more time to dedicate to those projects I have in mind.

I realized a while back that while I do enjoy teaching, I don't want to do MORE of it. I don't want a full time teaching schedule and I do not want a 9 to 5 teaching gig. I have been there, done that, and it isn't my cup of tea. The world of academia is a great place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there! So what will I "do" with the free time I will have in two years?

I have considered this--ad nauseum--and keep thinking that the answer has to be in front of me. What do I love and what can I do with that? What are my passions? Really my family is my passion. Taking care of them and doing the best I can do for each of them is what I wake up every morning hoping to accomplish. I want my girls to be healthy and loving people who learn and do well in the world. I want my husband to be satisfied and happy in his life and with his choices. I want to do all I can to encourage him to live well and be healthy. I also want to achieve my own goals and to be happy with where and when and what I am in life.

One of my favorite things to do is to read and learn more about how I can make better choices. I read about the food system and about health considerations. I read about studies and food types and learn about how our bodies work. I learn about growing things and eliminating chemicals and such from our homes and bodies. I have so much more to learn and a strong desire to dedicate real time to these ideas. In the past year, my family has gone from eating "whatever" (including an embarrassing amount of fast food and restaurant prepared meals) to eating less processed foods and "clean" farm-bought "kinder" meat choices. We then started to shop organic and before long started visiting the local farmer's markets and buying local too.

One day I heard about a book that led me to some videos online discussing a movie that was supposed to be life changing. I found the movie online and made my husband sit and watch it with me. What I thought was a movie about "healthy food choices" was a movie about meat and protein choices. The title of the film was "Forks over Knives" and our lives have never been the same since that evening. Had I known the content of the film, I honestly don't know that I would have watched it. I also wouldn't have tried to make my husband watch it, for fear he'd scoff at the subject-matter. Much to my surprise, he embraced the information wholeheartedly and vowed to go vegan. *Insert shocked look here*

So that didn't happen exactly, but I am very proud to say we have eliminated most meat from our meals and are eating a largely plant-based diet.We are making very strong efforts to integrate milk free products and options into our meals and have tried many new recipes that I would have never even read before. I feel like a better mom for making this choices and I take every chance I have to spread the knowledge I have acquired to others in my life who haven't converted yet.

The truth is that the standard American Diet is not working for most and the staggering statistics you hear on the news are the proof. The shockingly high rates of heart disease and diabetes and obesity are not a mystery if you look at what is on our food and how we eat. Most of us know this, but don't know the science behind it or the details. Most of us choose to not look into this or to turn a blind eye to the stories we hear. We think "Wow that is horrible" but we don't see ourselves in those stories or in those statistics. Once we do, and once we learn, you cannot unlearn it and life HAS to change. You don't have a choice. If you learn and do not make changes, it is just like agreeing to a death sentence by saying, "Sure! Let me help you!"

Now I get why Susan Powter's always said, "Stop the insanity!" That is precisely how most Americans are living and I have been one of those people for far too many years.

That must be it. I need to do something with the knowledge I am gaining to help other people live better lives. I share all I can with anyone who will listen as it is. There must be people who are mystified at the store like I have been at times. There must be people who struggle with weight loss like I have and don't get the connection yet between our western lifestyles and how we look and feel. There must be people who need a little push and a little information to help them decode the language of products and options that exist. They need definitions and summaries and guidance. I haven't had that thus far, and have muddled around trying to figure it all out bit by bit. I've made some mistakes, but I've learned quite a lot along the way.

On a whim this past Saturday, I Googled "becoming healthy living coach" thinking, "Surely this doesn't exist." I was wrong. They do exist. There are people who want/need help and there are people from all walks of life who have dedicated their professional lives to helping those people. Finding this tidbit out has given me some peace and a goal that I plan to start working on immediately. I have much to learn and more growing to do, but this summer begins my journey toward an actual and exciting place that I never before knew existed.

So...yeah.

Aside from figuring out what I want to do when I grow up, learning to sew, helping with homework, cooking meals and packing lunches, grading papers and teaching classes, taking children here and there, shopping for groceries, volunteering at my daughter's school, trying to get to the gym to exercise, relearning how to eat and treat my body and unlearning life-long bad habits and finding time for some of the most embarrassing line-ups of shows on television that I am addicted to (and some of the best--30 Rock, Modern Family, etc), I have been just hanging out...not really doing much with myself. ;)

And how are you?

Wow. This is still here. Felt compelled to write today. Actually, finally have a tiny bit of free time and found that I wanted to talk about what I am doing now.

Still working. Kids are growing and great. Still married. :) Things are fairly good, overall, I must say!

The new thing for me is that I am becoming a Zumba convert...quickly. I have attended classes, but only once a week at most for weeks--maybe two months now. But the past two weeks I have attended twice a week and this week, three or four times. I am finding that I enjoy this more than I have enjoyed anything in a VERY long time!

I am not coordinated. I do not dance. Once upon a time, I enjoyed dance, but I was never good at it. At all. :) I find that sometimes I am downright rigid and uncoordinated, but somehow I still find pleasure in bumbling around in Zumba classes. I really like the two instructors I have enjoyed taking classes with thus far and really hope that this is "it" for me.

You see I have NEVER enjoyed exercise. At. All. I loathe it really. I make myself do it and I try to get 3 or 4x a week in lately since I started working on my efforts to lose weight, wholeheartedly. It took months to work up the confidence to approach the instructor to see if I might possibly be "okay" trying out a class. He said yes. So I did, the very next day.

To my pleasant surprise there were OLD people there. There were FAT people there. There were people WAY less coordinated. :) Of course there were some thin and athletic people. There were some downright awesome and fluid hip-shakers as well. It was a great mix of people! So I went back.

With school and field trips and nap times, it has been hard to make it more than once, but things have opened up with Elena finishing Kindergarten. I am excited to have more flexibility in my schedule with my own course load, too, so I am taking advantage of it. Come fall things will rev up again, so until then, I am going to make Zumba as often as possible and ride this wave.

I have NEVER enjoyed sweating --ever. Honestly, I still don't like the 'sweating' part but I *do* like feeling like I am accomplishing something and that I am sticking to it.

I hope I can continue. I have every intention to.

Are you KIDDING me?

Sooooooooooooooooo its been over 3 months and I have no idea how things got so hectic SO quickly.

Before PreK started, there were play dates and scrimping to get all the fees handled and I worked on my resume to get back out there and find an on-site teaching gig. Then once school started, there were school events and just getting adjusted to it all. Once we were adjusted, I got a mid semester gig teaching an accelerated course at the local JC. It is taught in half the semester, so it begins half way through the regular semester. Comp I is familiar territory so its been going well!

NOW I'm finally getting settled into juggling my two online courses, the on site course, and Elena and her various comings and goings and I am starting to do research into next year's plan. Kinder will be here before we know it!

Since I was so lost in the process last year, I figured I would get a jump on things. Josh attended a school fair after I did some research and now we have narrowed it down to five or six possibilities.

I was going to keep her where she is for Kinder, and still may, but because it is hard to get into the private schools it might be better to start trying now instead of later. The school she is attending now only goes up to Kinder so switching her sooner rather than later means she will be establishing her friends and routines in the place she'll likely stay for a longer period of time(since most go to 6th or 8th grade).

I have tours set up in the coming week and look forward to applying a couple of places and seeing what is in the cards for us! Since we rent, I don't want to start her in public and have that be effected by any moves we end up doing in the next couple of years.

And Emilia is getting baptized in a couple of weeks, right after Thanksgiving. THANKSGIVING! Insane that its "that" part of the year already! Then Christmas. And begin again in January. IN. Sane.

Lena is gonna be 5 this coming January too! It never ends, huh? :) There will be a birthday party to figure out. Not especially looking forward to taking that on given her new expanded circle of friends, but I'm sure we'll figure out something economical and fun! :)

That is the update from us! BUSY BUSY BUSY and having fun with the kiddos too. We are blessed because we all have our health and the kids are growing and thriving!

More to come soon!

MISS YOU GUYS! ;)

Pre K

Come September, my eldest will be starting her official "schooling". The first in many years to come, I hope!

This decision should not have been so agonizing! Yet, it was. First, there is the consideration of the money. The huge amounts of money. It costs a small fortune to get your kid into pre-kinder in a private school.

Secondly, I had to give up more time with her before she officially starts "school". She is growing up quickly, so I thought if she didn't get into pre-k, I would keep her in a two-day-a-week Spanish immersion program she has been attending the past year and a half. That would give her some away from us time and keep her with us a lot of the time to enjoy the last year we had together before "big kid" school starts.

In this town, you have to qualify based on need (money, disability, etc) for public pre-k. We didn't fit into any category, so free pre-k wasn't an option. Then my next option was religious schools, namely those of my own denomination. My church was too expensive as were a few others I checked. I considered trying for my own church's school anyway and did fill out all the paperwork but was wait listed due to missing deadlines. I had no idea these things happened in JANUARY! I was too pregnant to have a properly functioning brain and stand by that excuse!

I did get a call from them to bring her in for testing but it was scheduled for the day she had an emergency dental procedure (that was a last minute decision right before my due date). I called the lady to reschedule that morning and she said she would call me back. I nursed my daughter back from her surgery and then popped out another kid. After a few weeks I realized that I never got a call back and that window was probably closed. I didn't mourn too much since I knew I couldn't afford it and probably wouldn't qualify for scholarships.

My other option was a phone call I had made to a place called The Acorn: A School for Young Children. By calling, I was put on their list and went ahead and did the tour in May (with one month old infant in tow). It looked like a wonderful place, but being on the wait list meant taking whatever opening came up--if indeed any did come up. Based on the fact that the tour was full of preggies, shopping around for schools for their unborn children, I felt a *tiny* bit late in the process.

One grandma was there for her one year old grandson. Her darn daughter was dragging her feet in getting her baby a spot secured in the school (a tour is mandatory and held only twice a year), so she went herself to get the process underway. I was looking for a spot THIS YEAR and just got put on the list. I wasn't holding my breath.

Good thing I didn't because I got the call yesterday, a full three months later. A spot in the lesser preferred five day a week class opened up. I was not first on the list, and because they balance classes (boys/girls/ages), there were a few other four year old girls in line ahead of my own. I was "lucky"!

More days per week = more money. And of course, the days are half days. It is a morning spot, so she would be gone early until 11:30 a.m. The good thing is that her sister is guaranteed a spot when she is old enough (3 years) and that I can keep Elena there for Kinder should I wish to do that. I do wish (if we can afford it) since its a tiny place and mommy isn't ready to put her kid into a big bad public school with big kids!

So after considering it, I decided to take the spot and went down there today to leave a nice chunk of change down to hold her place. More due in August and more due in September (and ever month after that in regular tuition payments). I had both girls in tow and I felt good about the decision, which made writing the check slightly easier.

Elena got to meet her teachers and take a tour of the place and she was in LOVE with it. She didn't want to come home with me after seeing the kids at play (in the summer program they have which ends today). She tells me, "Mom! I didn't know there were so many kids in this town!" :)

Yes, little one, there are many things you do not know. (She would never admit this because she thinks she knows EVERYTHING.) BUT that is why she is starting school. She has a lot to learn!

The early childhood classes of yesteryear were different. Children who are disadvantaged (Second language learners, physical/mental disabilities, etc) are believed to be the ones who need "early intervention" or a "head start". Children who come from poor families are often thought to need the help as well.

While my daughter doesn't fall into this category, she does fit into the new think when it comes to early starts in school. She is intelligent, social and some might say (and have said) gifted. She has had a large vocabulary for a couple of years now and does not need to have the playing field leveled before kindergarten. What she does need is stimulation and enriching learning experiences. She needs to play in a structured environment and be ready to settle down when the serious learning (writing, reading, etc) begins in school.

She also might get something I never got--a leg up. I was always thought of as gifted as a child and I went to gifted schools but was never really challenged. I was bored and without breaking a sweat, got very comfy in my place and didn't think it was worth it to push myself. Why should I? It was fun to coast. I got the good grades and had fun because I didn't have to try as hard as others did.

Once I got to college, I realized something I never knew. I wasn't really *that* smart. I mean, I was, but I wasn't as exposed to things as others had been. I wasn't confident when I compared myself to the other people around me and it hurt me greatly in how things played out in the years that followed.

The students I met in college were nurtured from early ages, read earlier than I did, and read far more authors than I ever knew existed. I read what was required, and nothing beyond that. These students went to summer programs and camps and were learning all the time. I was home with siblings, helping my mom with the house and my younger brothers during summers. We played outside, got really tanned and watched too much television.

I am hoping I can create an eager lover of learning in my daughter. I want to give her many opportunities to learn, but also to be comfortable around the different people who are more "privileged" than she is. She won't be able to do all the camps and won't go to swanky private schools, but she can do what we can afford to do here and there to benefit her.

This is one small thing. (Well...maybe NOT so $mall.) It is one, possibly two years in a very small school with one teacher for every five children. The place is nurturing and fun and I have no doubt she will thrive there. I won't be able to take breaks between classes (I teach), will have to spend a lot more time grading, and we will have to tighten our belts (super snugly), but I think its a good cause and I hope in the long run, it benefits her.

I am hoping she feels comfortable and confident in every situation she faces going forward. She already has the great confidence that goes with "knowing everything" and being a four-year-old. She has a very nurturing home life that has made her feel safe and strong. Hopefully, things continue on this path so that she ends up a stronger woman than I thought I was! :)

Week Six

I say it too often, I know, but wow time zooms by!

I'm 2/3rds of the way through the courses I am teaching and I am ready for them to be over. I get sick of some of the personalities I deal with. It can be quite frustrating!

I keep being offered newer courses that I haven't taught since they were revamped (earlier this year) and I sent a message to one of the schedulers hoping to be offered more of the same (what I am teaching now). I hope she takes pity on me! I really want to not have to revamp things and spend more time on grading and posting to a new course, especially since I am trying to increase my course load!

Thankfully, I am employed (however part time it may be) and I hope it stays that way!

This month I am just biting my nails and waiting to find out if Elena gets into preschool or not. If she doesn't it isn't the end of the world as I don't have the money to really pay for it. It would be good, however, and I would struggle to make it happen because I need her to have something to do to allow me time to teach more courses! It is also a great place and I know she would benefit from attending. I still feel awful about having missed deadlines and not having a slot waiting for her come September. :( Mama dropped the ball!

At least when it comes to Elena, I should be okay! I have about four years to get my act together!;)

Maybe I have posted about this stuff before. WHO KNOWS! I have a bad memory these days!

Leni starts ballet/tap classes Tuesday (once a week) and she is SOOO excited about it! She did a free class last week and LOVED it (her words). Very glad to get her into something cuz she is stuck with me most of the while and tiring of it for certain! :)

Have a great week! Half way to Christmas! ;)