Your mind goes everywhere when you can't sleep...

...and that is exactly what happened to me last night.

I was so tired, but my mind wouldn't shut off. This is a regular occurrence for me, but it never seems to be less frustrating.

My mind went in an interesting direction, however. For some reason, I was remembering one of my first New York interviews with an Internet company. It offered decent pay for writing content for a website. It ended up being between that position and another position with a small family owned educational publishing company and I chose the later.

The positions couldn't have been more different. They were both in Manhattan and the Internet position paid a bit more, but that is where the similarities ended.

The safe secure position is the one I took. It was a typical 9 to 5, unionized position that was predictable. The people there were a bit stuffy and quiet, but I was just coming off of many years of college and was hoping for something more simple and that would allow me free time to read things I'd like to read and spend time with my husband.

The position I turned down, was very unpredictable. I interviewed for it at a coffee shop and the offer came in quite late in the decision making process. They left me hanging quite a bit, which seemed to be how they were...a little less than organized. The dread-headed, well dressed guy who interviewed me told me that i could expect to work late nights and weekends quite often, especially as the site was about to launch. It was further up town than the other job which meant a longer commute alone, possibly at night. I also might not get to spend weekends with my husband. The idea of having to work late nights and weekends was not one I relished, but the idea that I might be part of something exciting was tempting. I was very interested in being in a young, fast-paced, high energy "Internet culture" work environment.

The job I did take couldn't have been less "high energy"! People there worked at a snail's pace and I resented it quite a bit. Many of them were older and "lifers" working their way up the union's pay scale with secure jobs that were safe and easy. I didn't even have Internet access for the first few months since only a handful of people had it there! Computers weren't networked and everything was done on paper there. It was a weird experience, especially being fresh from a college campus that was pretty tech-savvy.

My boss there was an interesting funny character, however, and I enjoyed the position as long as he was there. He interviewed me in a pair of jeans and an extremely wrinkled dress shirt. He was balding and shaved his head and was a short Jewish guy who didn't seem comfortable conducting the interview at all. He turned out to be a wonderful person to know and work for, however. Once he left, things took a downward spiral pretty quickly and I was bored. I started to teach night courses to do something that was more interesting and rewarding to me. In the end, I think that if I didn't take the editor position at the educational publishing company, I may have not found my way back to teaching.

A couple of years later, watching Oprah, I saw the same dread-headed guy who interviewed me for the web-editor position. Turns out he worked for HARPO Productions, evaluating technological gadgets and came onto the show to discuss them. OPRAH! Weird, huh?

I'll never know what would have happened had I taken the web editor job, but I have no doubt it would have changed quite a few aspects of my life. I know I am where I need to be so I don't have regrets. My choices have been made with a great deal of thought and usually based around what I thought was best for myself and my family. I think teaching has allowed me the flexibility I need to be a good mom. While I enjoy it, my favorite job is raising my daughter, something a faster-paced job wouldn't allow me to do! :)