Time to FRESHEN UP!

So, I was looking for a more cool sherbety looking color theme for my blog. I think I got that. But MAN it took forever. I still want to be able to add a space or two between the last line of one entry (with comments) and the dateline for the next one, but I have yet to figure that out. I also haven't figured out wrapping text or changing the sizes of the columns (less border, more text). I've wasted enough time just doing the color thing so I'm calling it quits for a while.

IN THE PROCESS of messing with things, I lost my original list of links. I hope I included everyone here who was originally on my list. Going to have to spend more time on that list later.

On a related note, I decided to make some much needed changes to my life...yet again! I swear I'm such a loser. With the beginning of the hotter weather, I've been doing much more with my daughter, going out, etc and I've also been working more than I had in the last year--currently five classes. It has been a hard juggling act to maintain, so in the process, of course one or more balls are going to be dropped. For me, it was my healthy lifestyle changes!

Sad to say I've gained a few previously "lost" pounds. They are happy to be home again and I'm highly annoyed and disappointed in myself!

Over the past two months, I have not been making it to the gym. I admit it. I completely fell off the exercise wagon! At first, I was going but less frequently and then I completely stopped meeting with the personal trainer. I stopped making appointments mostly because I didn't have a very open schedule, but also because I want to switch trainers and felt bad about breaking that to him. I don't like his generic approach to things and want to learn to use the equipment more so that I can continue on my own.

How do you break up with your trainer at a gym where you know you'll still be seeing them regularly? Blaming it on my erradic schedule was easy --at first-- because I kept going to the gym. But then I stopped going to the gym. That lack of care started to bleed into other areas. Namely, my eating! :(

Slowly, in the time pinches, we started indulging in fast foods again. I wasn't cooking as often because I was so busy and it was just easier. When I was out for coffee, I might indulge more in a sweet treat. BAD! There were graduations, parties, social engagements, travel, etc. More BAD!

Needless to say, it has caught up with me in a *BIG* way. I've avoided the scale, but swore today I would hold myself accountable--finally. I weighed in, only after dragging myself to the gym for a 45 minute cardio session. I'm still sick, so it wasn't a super hard workout, but it was something. I did sweat and I did get my heartrate going. Having worked out, I felt less horrible about the weigh in, because I had already started the changes I know I have to make. I still feel pretty bummed, however.

How is it that losing weight is such a slow and painful process and gaining it happens so quickly and never hurts one bit (unless you count the itty bits of guilt you feel from time to time)! It is all fun until someone starts to cry. And you do start to cry when you find your clothes getting snug on you again.

That is what happened to me over the past two weeks. What used to fit well started to look less flattering on. Being summer, this is not the look a gal is usually going for ------->

I'm posting about this only to hold myself accountable again. If I don't make it public record, I might start going backwards! Here's hoping I can make some positive changes and get back into my habits quickly. It seems painful to start it all up running on all cylinders, but its much needed. I'm hoping that within the month, I'll be back where I was three months ago when things started to go awry!

A girl can dream anyway! Here's to hoping that dream becomes a reality. I'd like to show myself I can do it on my own and stick to it. I just wish it were easier! :(