On Being a Student Again and Returning to the Scene of the Crime

Today I started my coursework for Integrative Nutrition. It was fun to listen to the information, view the videos and complete some of the worksheets. It is starting with what you wish to gain from the program and what brought you there. It asks questions about where you see yourself in a week, in a month, in a year, in five years, in ten or twenty years. These are questions that I had never really contemplated before.

Thinking about the future like that, in regard to my career, my children, and other aspects of my life made me focus on what I want and hope to achieve out of life. A lot of it hinges on making something (new) of myself and finding happiness in the career I looking to enter.

I am a bit nervous, if I lay all the cards on the table here, because I have never been independently employed and I cannot imagine running a business. I sometimes doubt myself, but I am hoping that my passion for helping people find their way to a healthier lifestyle will trump any self-doubt I have. The idea of helping someone to lose weight, sleep better, go organic, navigate the grocery store in an effort to eat fewer processed foods, start to feet their kids more healthily, or improve his/her cholesterol, is something that makes me happy.

All in all, it is an exciting time to be ME. Things are so much in flux right now. I feel like maybe I am coming to this late, but I finally GET how important my body is and how I have mistreated it for so long. I really see the value in doing things that seemed ridiculous before. I also feel like I REALLY belong somewhere that I am not currently. I worked so hard to get to where I am, but I also feel like I have been walking in circles for a long time and just not happy. I feel professionally frustrated and plain tired. And I stand--here--on the verge of huge change!

Speaking of exciting changes, just today, a friend talked me into going to my 20 year high school reunion. Twenty years? Surely it hasn't been that long, right? It has. I am older than I want to be, but the alternative is no good! Growing old has its advantages. I was fairly antisocial in high school so I'm going for different reasons. I want to hang with my good buddy, but I also want to just see where I came from, to some degree. We are all very different people who came from slightly similar backgrounds and ended up in various places. I know some people are exactly where they want to be and others are like me, works-in-progress. :) Maybe it will be more fun than I anticipate. I have NO expectations, so I'm hoping to be happily surprised by a great time. Stranger things have happened, right?

It is 20 years since I went away to college to "find myself" (and many other things in the process). I think its a little funny that here I am, 20 years later, still doing the same thing! I'm pretty sure this time I got it, but who knows. Maybe in another 20 I will be reinventing myself again. Hey, if it works for Madonna, I guess I'm in good company!